"Do the Right Thing, Dear"

A hundred years from now, will people do fewer irrational things? I’m referring to those things we do even though we know better—things like eat ice cream when we’re trying to diet, have another smoke when we’re trying to quit, kiss somebody we’re not supposed to be kissing.

My impression from the world of evolutionary psychology is that our brains have layer upon layer of often conflicting behavioural instructions stemming from different eras of our genetic history. At the top of the "heap", if you will, is our most recent evolutionary advance--the “thinking brain” or forebrain. At the very bottom are the vestiges of hundreds of millions years of genetic history, back to when we were, like, fish. We’d like to think the thinking brain is driving the bus of our life, but often it’s our old programming that's in charge. Sometimes we're just passengers.

Some of us are better than others at resisting impulses. So that gives some hope. They have going for them things like higher self esteem, healthier disciplines, greater self-awareness of what’s going on down there (deeper in their brain, if you will)—things that help the brain somehow leap, or maybe crawl, past temptation.

Is a hundred years enough time?

No Harm Done

This feels like a dangerous blog entry to write. It goes to the very heart of what I do for a living, of what my company espouses. I’m not exactly sure what I’m about to type. That’s the thing; the issue on my mind questions what I am all about.

Here’s the thing. I know some very successful sales leaders who hold their people TOTALLY accountable for hitting sales numbers. Their attitude, and perhaps rightly so, is something like this: Mr. J has not hit his numbers; this is not a charity. Blow him out the door. Period. There are people out there who would work harder and be more effective. We are wasting our time!

The other extreme is for leaders to be realistic, to be fair. For example, if Mr. J has been unfavourably affected by the economy, let’s face it, give the guy a break.

Now here’s what’s bugging me: in truth, I believe the meanies who remove the Mr. Js of the world and replace them with stronger racehorses, if you will, tend to win the race, tend to be more successful.

And let’s not stop at leadership. The salespeople of the world who push, push, push and don’t take no for an answer, tend to hit the bigger numbers. They may not be very pleasant to deal with, but they do win more deals.

What to do? What to do?

Can you feel the issue? Here I am making a living teaching leaders to be empathetic and salespeople to be customer-sensitive, yet I know that leaders and salespeople who are cold and driven thrive. They’ve got this teeth-gritting competitive spirit.

What to do, what to do…

I can’t say these people should be more “humanistic”—after all, they are perhaps the very paragon of humanity’s furthest reach. They have driven commerce and commerce has driven and funded technology and science and medicine. They may be the necessary evil that makes things tick. They might be the essence of success and I’ve spent a career honouring the opposite sensibility.

But hold on! Another part of me speaks up!

Shouldn’t leaders who want to get all hot and bothered about Mr. J use that energy to get closer to Mr. J’s activity? Shouldn’t they protect their investment and educate Mr. J rather than tossing him out the door. Sure, if it’s not going to work, Mr. J can’t stay. Let’s draw a line—but work it.

And, when it comes to pushy salespeople, they may do better in the short run, but in the long run their relationships make the difference. Indeed, if they integrate into their hard-driving orientation a high level of empathy and patience—then they would be even more successful. They would listen, for heaven’s sake! And I would buy from them again and again.

I feel better already. Phew! I let my fear out, but it didn't hurt.

Leadership and Procrastination

Inertia is the tendency a thing has to stay “as is”. If it's moving, it wants to keep moving. If it’s not moving, it tends to remain stationary.

The only way to overcome inertia is to apply some other force. For example, if a ball is sitting on the floor, the only thing that will move that ball is the application of some new force—like a kick.

Similarly, if a person is procrastinating, only some extra force will get that person moving — perhaps a kick.

Emotion is a source of energy that gets people going. Emotion is the source of motivation.

Look at all those ‘mo’ words! (coming from the Latin root meaning “motion”)

Anyway, sometimes when I wake up, and there's nothing obliging me to actually get out of bed, I play a little game with myself. It was first written about by William James over a hundred years ago. He said to let your thoughts go free knowing that one of them will spring you to your feet; one of them will contain the magical emotional energy.

I lie there and scan through the various things going on in my life. Indeed, when my attention lands on something about which I feel emotional, I'm up. It happens every time.

In that sense, I trigger my own emotions.

And sometimes I trigger the emotions of others.

In fact, I happen to believe that triggering the emotions of others - in a positive kind of way, of course - is the job of a leader.