Changing Behaviours

It's no surprise that a biggie in the world of training is in getting people to actually change their behaviour. A trainer can explain stuff, actually get "learners" to understand everything, but still not get them to implement. What's that about?

Here's a useful principle in psychology: if people get pleasure or relief from a new behaviour, they will likely keep doing it. If there's little direct payback, well, they might nod, agree, even pledge to make a change but, later, in private, just do stuff the way they always have.

For example, let's say you are my sage trainer and you believe in this principle of creating change by getting me to experience pleasure or relief. You want me to change the way I handle complaints (from customers, employees...anybody). Specifically, you want me to ask questions instead of getting defensive.

Now, because you're so good, you know you can't just say, "Art baby, you gotta ask a question instead of getting your back up."

In response to a complaint you throw at me, you teach me to ask questions instead. You make the sequence clear: hear complaint, ask a question; hear complaint, ask a question. You make me practice. You create a little one act play during which I hear a complaint. You stop time. During this pause, you get me to feel the impulse to defend. You get me to ask a question instead. I experience the value of the new behaviour; I say to myself, "ooh, that feels good."

If it feels like a genuine solution to something that's been bugging me (like complaints always leading to shouting matches), then I'll do it your way forever. Even if it just feels somehow smoother than the way I always did it, I'll probably switch.

Okay. So you've done it.

But, you might wonder, if this training technique is so effective, wouldn't everybody be running around behaving perfectly?

You might think so, but the whole thing is easier said than done. It can be tough to clarify for people the things that trigger the behaviour we're trying to change (in our example, you made me recognize what precedes my defensive response to complaints). Without that clarification people might not be able to recognize their triggers in the future. Also the desired response has to be simple and recognized intellectually as superior to the habituated response. Further, there needs to be the personal eureka moment--the "ooh la la, this helps!" experience.

And those are just the one-person-at-a-time issues. A designer and facilitator of a group training session also need to think about: the number of course objectives (we don't want to tackle more than we have time for), the challenge of defining the targeted behaviours in terms of antecedent/consequence, not boring the heck out of folks who don't face the same obstacles. One-on-one training is easier than group work.

So, why does my wife find it challenging to train me to put the wooden spoon in the spatula drawer rather in the drawer with all the other cooking utensils? Because there's no pleasure in it. In fact, as I write this, I wonder if I've got it wrong. Maybe the wooden spoon is NOT supposed to go with the spatulas. Sorry.